DESPITE coming up with such classics as the wealthy sheik who wanted to buy South Beach (camel rides a given), there were no April Fools to be found in last Friday’s Observer.

Sometimes, of course, the jokes can fall flat, like the air of general disappointment detected when readers found that there was in fact no such book as ‘50 Shades of Sand’, a photographic celebration of the many colours of sand found on our lovely beaches.

Happily, around the county were plenty of spoof stories, tricks and jokes to get us laughing this year. Here is a selection gleaned from social media posts published on April 1, 2022.

Photographer Gareth Davies started the month with some earth-shaking news:

“Geologists have reported, that following Storm Eunice which hit Pembrokeshire several weeks ago, monastic Caldey Island is now 5.5 metres closer to Tenby.

For added realism, he continued: “There will be no price reduction on boat tickets for the now shorter journey to the wonderful island.

“Tenby aerial photo for geologists report: Gareth Davies Photography Tenby.”

From Carew Castle and Tidal Mill, there was a tranquil photograph showing the sky reflected in the millpond, the historic castle in the background. Tranquil that is, apart from the three huge tentacles coming out of the water.

“Our site warden was out and about early this morning,” they explained. “Whilst walking along the causeway he heard a loud splash, looked around and got the fright of his life!”

“I’m sure I saw it yesterday… gave me a right pre fool shock!” revealed Sharron Hardwick, with a ‘shocked hair’ selfie to prove it.

What to call the beast was a matter of some debate: the April Ness Monster? The Mill Fool/Pool Kraken? Alongside the ghost of Princess Nest, this sighting can only help tourism.

On the subject of fantastic creatures, did you know that just like some birds, llamas have the ability to mimic sounds? Manor House Wildlife Park said so.

“With appropriate training, they will greet you with ‘Hello’ and ‘I love you!’” they added. And looking at the cheeky face in the photograph, you can almost believe it.

Freshwater West will be renamed ‘Free Elf Beach’ to commemorate House Elf Dobby from the Harry Potter series, claimed reporter Jack iley at the Western Telegraph. It is true that the beach was the filming location of Dobby’s death in the film. The call, apparently, came from the Society of the Promotion of Elfish Welfare (SPEW)!

Meanwhile Pure West Radio shared the ‘breaking’ news that the Welsh Government were planning to extend the M4 to Fishguard. The plan included a 45-mile tunnel between Rosslare and Fishguard (the ‘Celtic Crossing’) to be completed in 2035. Of course, houses near the A40 would have to be demolished to allow for road widening, with property owners set to be contacted soon. It all goes to prove that the saying, “you couldn’t make it up” is simply not true.

Camrose-based company Celtic Timber decided April 1 was the time for a new logo - a hand-drawn version of their usual graphic with lettering that was probably created by a right-handed person using their left hand, or vice versa. “We are delighted to unveil our new logo,” they quipped.

“After months of working with brand managers and graphic designers, we have a cutting edge, modern logo that epitomises the effort, love and care that we apply to each of our products.”

“We really wanted something that felt like it could have been created by a 3-year-old,” they commented. “Our goal is for the logo to be pinned to fridges around the country, like school art.”

Apparently this rationale failed to impress the senior management, for a statement by the company later in the day read: “Following a morning of busy shenanigans, we can confirm that our marketing team has been removed from duty effective immediately!”

The best story prize for April 1, 2022 should probably be awarded to Bluestone Wales for their inspired choice of name change to Greenstone.

“Since day one, we’ve strived to be a ‘green’ business,” they reasoned. “It can be seen in the way we operate day to day and the initiatives we’ve taken on resort and beyond to strive toward a sustainable and Free Range Future.”

“When releasing our 2022 ‘We Are Nature’ campaign we realised something. We needed to do just that. Become one with the natural world and represent it in the best way possible. That’s why we’re so happy to announce some changes that will be taking place on resort!”

All sounds plausible so far, doesn’t it? But what comes next just gets funnier as it goes on:

“The Blue Lagoon is blue no more. Now you’ll be taking a dip at The Green Lagoon! Taking a dive into waters that are now coloured emerald green, reflecting the mineral rich waters of the lagoons and lakes found in the beauty spots around Pembrokeshire.

“Down at our award-winning Well Spa, we’ll be harnessing the invigorating powers of nature… introducing, our moss-covered Greenstone massage! …It’s not just our bluestones with a bit of moss on them. Honestly. Please don’t check.

“Our staff will also be getting into the Greenstone spirit. All uniform will now be one cohesive, stylish, modern, green. On Wednesday we (as in you, the guests) wear green. This is ‘optional’, but all green areas of resort will be off-limits without green clothing on.

“Sir Tom Jones famously sings about the Green, Green Grass of Home. Well, we want Greenstone to be your home away from home, that’s why all lodge interiors will be getting a major makeover to reflect the natural world outside them.

“That’s right: Doors - green; walls - green; fixtures - green; fittings - green; bed linen - green; stovetops – will remain dark grey for regulatory purposes… we’re looking forward to seeing you at Greenstone soon!

“P.S. Before we forget, Happy April Fool’s Day!”