I understand that the reporters were out on the hunt last weekend, after someone had phoned in wanting to know about the strange case of the missing women from the county.

It seems he had been out walking and said it reminded him of the film 'The Living Dead'; all he could see were men, no women. Whilst slightly exaggerated in the name of poetic licence, certainly there was a dearth of lady bowlers - plenty of happy smiling husbands though.

Of course, it was the annual county ladies bowls tour; this year they were off to Bath. Don't panic, I had phoned the local council to warn them and extra police were drafted in, just in case. I did have a couple of spies in camp, so that I could report back with all the gory details, but I think they were knobbled. According to my spies, everything was sweetness and light on the tour and the ladies behaved impeccably?

Now believe that and you are in a bad way. When our county ladies hit the town, no one is safe from them, and two in particular from my own club. I will not name names, suffice to say that they were not the oldest on tour, but it seems the night porter in the hotel had to be dragged screaming from the CCTV consul on Sunday morning; he was begging to be allowed to stay on duty a bit longer!

A couple of phone calls I received during the tour were rather drowned out by the laughter and singing in the background - perhaps the lemonade was too fizzy.

Anyway, they were all back safe and sound Sunday night. You could tell the husbands were happy to see them, by the tears streaming down their faces (I assume they were tears of joy).

SAUNDERSFOOT LADIES 40 FIVE ARCHES 38

The Saundersfoot Ladies are sailing close to the wind these days. The league winners shield is there for the taking, all it needs is that little bit extra push to grab it with both hands.

Although they managed to win this game overall, it was all too close for comfort.

The nerve endings are twanging that little bit louder, so come on girls, just concentrate and it will be yours once again.

Rink scores (Saundersfoot first, Five Arches skips only): L. Bissell, E. Shaw, A. Davies, K. Kennion 20; V. Williams 16. J. Lee, J. Waters, V. Edwards, M. Evans 20; A. Redman 22.

SAUNDERSFOOT 94 BELLE VUE (Newport) 87

A smashing crowd of bowlers and a game always looked forward to playing in. Unfortunately, due to various other games and county tour etc, it meant that the Saundersfoot team had to rely on no fewer than nine of their junior section to step in and make up the team, some of them having never played in a full scale game before this.

The visiting captain expressed his concern prior to the game about the juniors' abilities, but come the final countdown, he was the first to apologise and compliment the youngsters on their demeanour, etiquette and overall playing ability.

All right, some of the woods were short, but I tell you what, some of the so-called experienced bowlers were in awe of they way they played. The final score gave the home team the win they deserved, and I am sure all those adults who played will give credit to the youngsters and their involvement in the game.

One particular parent, who shall remain nameless, ended up paying out a good few pounds to the kids, who he bet would not reach the head.

Rink scores (Saundersfoot first, Belle Vue skips only): P. Lewis, C. Harris, J. Austin, A. Lewis 18; M. Stead 17. D. Rogers, B. Gosnold, L. Statters, D. Robb 16; D. Robinson 18. R. Hensman, J. Bingham, M. Carr, K. Kennion 14; Thomas 13. Joseph Criddle, Brittney Francis, R. Kennion, B. Lee 15; J. Wysome 12. A. Henshaw, E. Pendlebury, N. Hensman, P. Bissell 10; D. Whyte 21.

A special thanks to Neil Hensman, who at the very last minute stepped in to play at third, in his very first game of competitive bows. The fact that Adam his son was at lead perhaps put him off slightly, but overall he did a reasonable job, although daughter Rachel, playing on the next rink at lead, showed dad how the game should be played.

NEARLY OVER

This weekend is the penultimate one of the outdoor season. Soon it will be back to the warmth of the indoor stadiums; some will hang up the whites and put the woods away after giving them a final polish, sticking them up in the attic until next April comes around. But for those still clinging on to the chance to play outdoors as much as possible, before the gates clang shut, this is the programme at the club for the next couple of weeks.

Tomorrow (Saturday) sees the juniors heading off to play in the return game against Pendine - two rinks of triples with a 2 pm start. Nothing to do? Why not come along and support them?

Sunday is the Pembrokeshire Financial Services singles competition. A good number of members have entered this competition, being run for the very first time. It is open to men and lady members, and it should be a cracking day. The draw is on the board.

There is a friendly on Tuesday, September 13 - three rinks of ladies and one of men against Hampshire.

On Friday we entertain Severn Vale in another mixed game, on Saturday our old friends Beaufort are back again, this year making it mixed instead of the usual outstanding men's team, and on Sunday it is the last game of the season, the John Badham Shield. To make this a successful competition, we need at least 20 names. There are still a couple of spaces available, so why not stick your name down - it is always a smashing day.

After this game, the green closes, allowing Chris and Gerard to get their magic wands out to make it ready for the next season.